The Question of Gratitude
Dinner Party, Ryan Kapp (2013, American)
“What are you thankful for?” It’s a question that many of us are reflecting on at this time of year (and, yes, one that strikes fear into the heart of many a kid at the Thanksgiving dinner table - Oh, Dad, not this again…). It’s probably a question that we could all stand to ask ourselves more often.
One of the more robust findings in positive psychology is that gratitude is good for you. Research summarized by the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University examined the impact of simple “gratitude interventions” such as daily or weekly pauses to reflect and journal about things in life that are going well. When compared to control groups that were instructed to instead think or write about hassles, obstacles, or simply whatever recent events come to mind, those to who took time to express gratitude experienced improvements in sleep, physical health, and lower levels of depressive symptoms.
And yet, we struggle to be grateful. We find it much easier to grumble than to praise, and we are far more likely to spot the ways that life has failed to deliver what we imagine we’ve earned than we are to experience joy and wonder at receiving more than we deserve. Entitlement is the great enemy of gratitude. The way to fight it, of course, isn’t to beat oneself down but rather to develop a greater appreciation for just how much we’ve been given.
What distinguishes the gratitude of Christians from the secular variety of gratitude isn’t simply that Christians have someone to be grateful to; it’s who they are grateful to. The key distinction is who God is, not that he merely exists.
Christians confess a God who is infinite, eternal, perfect in every way, in and of himself. He is dependent on nothing and no one; on the contrary, everything that is made is made by him and depends on him in every way possible - even for existence itself. He is the creator, but creation is neither a necessary emanation (as though it were an inevitable part of him), nor something he did out of some lack. He is not lonely apart from creation, for we confess a triune God, eternally three in one and one in three. Apart from creation he lacks nothing; not glory, not honor, not entertainment or relationship. Creation is not necessary in any way: it is radically gratuitous.
This by itself means that we simply need not exist, and our first response simply to be here at all should be astonishment, wonder - gratitude. And all of that is true without introducing sin into the picture. Once we admit that inconvenient little detail of our existence, we have to reframe the situation a bit. It’s not just that there’s no reason that we should exist; it’s that we can actually imagine quite strong reasons why we shouldn’t, at least not in anything like our present state. If creation is gratuitous, salvation is more so. Our existence is radically contingent and unnecessary, but our salvation turns on the radical grace of a perfectly holy judge who miraculously weaves justice and mercy together by taking our place under judgment: “But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) Creation may be ex nihilo, but salvation hinges on the Word made flesh, come to drink death to the dregs.
How are we to respond to this? The Bible indicates two answers, one having to do with our love of neighbor and one having to do with our love of God (fitting, as those cover what Jesus said were the two most important commandments).
With regard to our neighbor - if our whole life is a gift, we should be asking to what or whom we will give it away. This theme runs throughout the entire Bible. Abraham was called by God not only in order to be a blessing, but that through him and his family, all other families on earth would be blessed (Genesis 12). Jesus drew attention, both in parables and in the real world, to the fact that those who knew they had been forgiven much would respond with greater love (Luke 7). The apostle Paul appeals for generosity in one of his letters by reminding his readers of “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9) Your life is a gift. How will you give it away?
What about love of God? Should our response to his gifts to us - “our creation, preservation… all the blessings of this life… [and] above all… the redemption of the world through our Lord Jesus Christ,” as the Book of Common Prayer has it - be to seek to give something back to him? How would we do that? “What do you have that you have not received,” Paul asks in 1 Corinthians 4:7 - what do we have to give to God that he has not already given us?
Part of the answer is what we’ve already said: we give to God by giving sacrificially to others, as bearers of his image. “God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does,” Martin Luther said. But scripture also points us to something else about our response to God’s generosity, and it may be more important for our long-term growth in grace and obedience. Especially in the Psalms, there is the important suggestion that the way to “repay our vows” to the God who has given us everything is to ask for more!
What shall I render to the LORD
for all his benefits to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD,
I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people. - Psalm 116:12-14
This is perhaps the most important thing we do out of gratitude: we acknowledge not only that he has given us everything, but that he will continue to provide. His generosity to us doesn’t merely get us up on our own two feet and then demand that we provide for ourselves; we are every bit as dependent on him for today’s daily bread as we were for yesterday’s (as for tomorrow, we remember Jesus warning us in Matthew 6 against growing anxious about that too soon). And so, in response to what he has given us, we ask for more. In response to the table he has spread out for us in the wilderness of our lives (Psalm 78:19), we lift up the cup of salvation and drink all the more deeply; that is how we pay our vows to him. It’s for good reason that the Heidelberg Catechism, in its explanation of the Lord’s Prayer, says that the reason we pray is that it is the “most important part of the thankfulness that God requires of us.” (Heidelberg Catechism, Q&A116) We honor him not only by our praise and thanksgiving, but by our requests and even, in times of suffering, our laments, which is also a form of praise because it recognizes that the world is not the way it should be, and that there is one, and only one, who can ultimately put it right.
A life of gratitude is a life of prayer. This Thanksgiving, ask yourself what you’re thankful for - but then, ask yourself whom you’re thankful to, and honor him by praying for more than you can ask or imagine.
Thou art coming to a King,
large petitions with thee bring,
for his grace and pow'r are such,
none can ever ask too much. - John Newton.
